Apa khabar iman? Yazid au yanqus?

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Hai awak dan awakk,, Solat dulu yok!

Jan 18, 2018

Bye For Real

hi.

*awkward smile*

a minute later....

okay now this is really awkward. i don't even know now for whom should i write this post to. but y'all have no idea how i miss the white and orange background dashboard. how the keyboard sounds. God this is so difficult to do.

so, i'm back? or do i just come for a while to announce that i'm finally gonna move on with this thing? :D

ok drop the english. perasan apa kau ni?

percayalah. aku memang dah lama tak jenguk blog ni. at least dulu kalau aku tak update apa-apa pun aku still akan jenguk-jenguk. sambil mengimbau kenangan lama.

tapi tidak lagi. i guess adulthood really strike me? NO.

baiklah untuk tidak membuatkan post ni membuang masa bagi yang membaca, saya akan proceed dengan my personal update.

i have just another one semester to complete my degree. satu sem je lagi weh. aku tak tau nak rasa cepat sangat ke atau nak kata akhirnyaaaa.

aku balik Malaysia summer tahun lepas after almost 2 years dekat sini. so proud of myself.

ok done with the personal update.

next aku nak cakap yang maybe ni last aku akan menulis dekat sini. cukuplah aku berkongsi kehidupan di medan yang tak ada orang nak baca ni. haha. i have fb insta and twitter tho. so i guess that's enough. dulu buat blog ni pun time takde media sosial tu semua. ngehh

alright guys. i'm gonna leave this post maybe for a month and then i'll completely delete everything sobss i can't believe it. T_T my teenagehood will disappear

so, bye! :')

Jan 1, 2017

My Last Thoughts on 2016

MY LAST THOUGHTS ON 2016

so, this year has finally gonna end in about less than an hour. i still remember vividly the same night last year, counting down the seconds all by myself and feeling all kind of emotions. but not today though. i kind of not feeling all melo.

instead i tend to look back and reflect what have i actually done and achieve. i kind of regret and all but believe me, the next day will be all same even if i do kind of regretting every single passing minute without doing anything that can be proud of.

i keep sinking and my vision is always blurred by something that i'm not aware of. i don't know how to perceive this.

sometimes i don't trust myself. and always i keep disappointing myself. i don't have anything to be proud of. i have lost all my passion. and i don't even know what's left in me right now.

what have i achieved?
-nothing. like seriously. my studies are not that great either. and i can't even speak my mind clearly, let alone fluently in arabic. all go down to the drain.

where am i going?
-i know i have to go down the right path. the straight path, the path of my Lord. but sometimes i just go astray and let myself do that. i don't have a strong willpower and mind to prevent myself from that.

what have i contributed to the ummah?
-this is the question that i'm really ashamed to answer. absolutely nothing. i haven't done anything to help our dying ummah. i know we are dying, yet i just keep my eyes close and do nothing. really shame on me.

what do i have to do from now on?
-i really hope someone just knock some senses into me. wake me up before i wake up in a state that i can never do anything anymore. before everything is too late and the door of chance has closed tightly.

lastly, i have something to say to the future me:

hey aula. if your state right now is not so good and if it all because of what you have done in the past, please don't blame it on me. after all i am the old you and i could never imagine what my future would be, that is your state right now. just keep going and don't lose the path of your Lord. you're almost there, please don't let go the rope yet.